Freud

I’ve been reading a lot of Freud lately and I know Freud is very sexist and imperialistic (he loves talking about savages, and women’s desire as the unexplored primitive Dark Continent).

However, I do strangely like psychoanalysis. I don’t believe it is really applicable as a science or as a methodology. But it is fascinating nonetheless. You get to analyze Freud’s sick and twisted mind. I read Freud as a projection. Whatever he sees in other, he actually sees in himself.

Anyway, yesterday, as you have all heard, I was traumatized by a bus honking at me. However, most men’s reaction is like this is the first time I was traumatized and realized men suck. But now, everyone knows that an experience like that usually happened before but is still trauma reborn and reexperienced as if it was new. There is no getting used to it. If one gets used to it, that is scary. Although every experience is fresh and shocking, I have experienced many. If I am given a dollar every time a random guy is being a dick, I will be rich. And please don’t tell me it’s because I’m attractive. Some girl said it is because I’m Asian. There is no analyzing why it occurs and when you do start analyzing your dress, your looks, your demeanor, your race, you begin to internalize hate and you begin to believe you deserve it.

Well, I had the mistake of thinking I was over the experience after I slept it off.

But then, I had such a bad dream.

I thought it was unrelated to the honking yesterday until now.

Psychoanalysis made me make think of the connection. Repression and all.

My dream was all about me being verbally attacked by a mean girl, while friends, and other people just stared and did not react. I did not take it and retorted but it just made me feel worst after i shut her up.

Anyway, i guess i’ll never get over what it means to be a woman in this world.

2 notes

blackfashion:

Vlisco “Bloom” Collection Spring 2014

This season, we share our admiration for the silent power and splendour of flowers and the vibrant women who wear them with such grace. Even the pattern, which is normally indigo, is now applied in bordeaux, adding more warmth and depth to the fabrics. 

I NEED THIS! PATTERNS! DRESSES!

754 notes

birthmoviesdeath:

Nothing can make Idris Elba look stupid - GM

birthmoviesdeath:

Nothing can make Idris Elba look stupid - GM

(via owning-my-truth)

1,135 notes

 I wish mama all the happiness,

-Lady

(Source: magemg, via fuckyeahpacificrim)

2,284 notes

owning-my-truth:

Now this is the type of cosplay that I’m about.



This is the type of cultural appropriation I like. LOL

owning-my-truth:

Now this is the type of cosplay that I’m about.

This is the type of cultural appropriation I like. LOL

2,896 notes

tumblropenarts:

By Olga Andreyeva
Art Blog
Website

tumblropenarts:

By Olga Andreyeva

Art Blog

Website

679 notes

Today is a Freaking Weird Day

First, I was honked at by a bus driver coming from another direction. I don’t even want to go into how horrible that is. You know, the bus driver basically made me a show for everyone on the bus. They all had to turn their heads to look at me. I mean what the fuck.

That traumatic experience thus inspired my remonstrations below:

"Yesterday, I was just telling a professor that a flâneur is masculine and perhaps will never be feminine (flâneuse) as the woman on the street will always be gazed at. I was thinking of some essays written by Virginia Wolf then. At the time, it was all talk, I did not fully realize the weight of all that emotionally until today. I was thinking and looking around, walking down the street waiting for the bus, wondering why it was such a beautiful day and then I was honked at by a car, who stopped and looked at me. There is no flâneuse."


If that wasn’t weird enough. After school, I take the bus to get back home. I got on the bus. Walked and found the only empty seat to sit. It was one of those with two seats. Then the young guy sitting next to me said good afternoon. First time he said it, I was bending down to put my UT ID into my backpack. So when I got back up he said it again, thinking I didn’t hear. I did hear alright the first time, dude, but I just thought you couldn’t have been talking to me. So when my head finally bobbed back up from leaning down and my face slowly turn towards him, he started saying “good afternoon” the second time. I just looked at him, mouth wide open, trying to say something but confused. All this time, I was wearing my sunglasses so he probably didn’t know my eyes were looking around trying to find somebody else he was actually talking to, because I don’t know you dude. I was also studying him for a long time thinking maybe I know him, maybe he is a classmate, a student, and that’s why he is saying good afternoon. I stared at him for probably a long time. I was thinking, should I say “good afternoon?” “hi?” “do I know you?.” Kudos to this guy who could stand my stare while I was thinking. I thought I’d rather die than say the two words good afternoon. I can say hi, what’s up, but good afternoon is a stupid phrase that I never said to anyone in my entire life. “good day” is also weird.

Then I think he saw that I wasn’t responding, he said, “How Are You?”

Finally, a question. That I can respond to, not some weird ass greeting “good afternoon.”

I said very quickly, “I’m good. How are you?”

He said, “I’m doing okay.”

And then that was it. That was the end of the conversation and we had to sit next to each other awkwardly for 15 mins till I got to my stop and got off. I kind of expected him to strike up a conversation with me or say something as to explain to me his mysterious greetings. But alas, we shall never know why he said good afternoon. He must have wanted to make a friend and thought I was an ice cold bitch and backed off.

What an awkward day.

4 notes

There is No Flâneuse

Yesterday, I was just telling a professor that a flâneur is masculine and perhaps will never be feminine (flâneuse) as the woman on the street will always be gazed at. I was thinking of some essays written by Virginia Wolf then. At the time, it was all talk, I did not fully realize the weight of all that emotionally until today, I was thinking and looking around the world walking down the street waiting for the bus, wondering why it was such a beautiful day and then I was honked at by a car, who stopped and looked at me. There is no flâneuse.

"Americanah" Review

owning-my-truth:

Every Monday I review media as part of my weekly “Media Review Mondays” series. This is the 2nd installment of this series.

Believe the hype, Americanah is absolutely fantastic.

image

[image description: The cover art of Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. It is a white cover with a red…